3yr 9 mo Weight loss and 6 mo Tummy Tuck updates

 I think the pictures say more than I could ever say in words.

I had RNY Gastric bypass surgery on October 19, 2011.  I weighed 340 before istatred my pre-op diet.  Day of surgery I weighed 320 pounds.     I hit my goal weight of 180# in October 2013 about 2 years aftr my surgery.  I maintained that weight for a year.  And then pursued a Tummy Tuck.  I had my tummy tuck in December 2014 about 3ys 2months after my original WLS.

Here are the pictures!

The pictures below are specific to my tummy tuck.  I started out at 340#.  The middle picture is me at goal weight of 180#.  The last picture is 6 months post tummy tuck.  And I lost an additional 10 pounds.  I have been maintaining between 173-167 for the past 4 months.

These are the more clinical ones.  The ones with writting all over me are taken right before surgery.  The bottom ones were taken at 6 months post surgery.

Success

I wrote this post for a WLS support group I am on.  It is worth sharing here as well!

I was chatting with a friend today about WLS and my journey to goal weight. He told me someone asked him how much time I spend in the gym. I laughed. We had a great conversation about what made me successful in reaching my goal weight. So I thought I should share it here.

I am a stay at home mom to 4 kids kids. I am crazy busy all the time. So exercising has always been a struggle for me. In the begining of my journey I was too fat to do any weight bearing or jarring exercises. It hurt too much. So the first 40 pounds or so I lost with no exercise at all. Just DRASTIC changes to my diet. Then for a few months I swam in the Pool at the Y and lost another 40 pounds. By that time I was small enough that it didn't hurt my knees and hips to exercise so then I walked. I walked around my neighborhood. I walked on my treadmill. But not everyday. Just when I could fit it in.

I started out small with my walking. I would park at the back of the lot and walk across the parking lot to go shopping. I would walk with my kids while they rode their bikes. I would push my son in a stroller and walk with my other Mom friends instead of sitting at a coffee shop. I would take the stairs instead of the elevator. I bought a bike at a garage sale and would ride around the block with my kids. At my kids soccer practices i would walk around the soccer field and watch them play. So yes even a busy mom of 4 can find time to exercise. And all those small things add up to big results!

Where I made my biggest changes that contributed to my success at meeting my goals..... was in my diet. I drastically reduced all carbs. I always ate my protein first. I lived on cottage cheese, greek yogurt, string cheese, nuts, and lean meats. The basics of what we all started on.

I changed my mind about food. Food was no longer to soothe my emotions, It was to nourish my body. So I was mindful of what i put into my body and how I was feeling when ate. I ate mindfully.... meaning at a table, not at the TV or computer, I mindfully chewed each bite and paid attention to my portions. And I listened to my pouch. I didn't drink with my meals.

I also fight daily to address the concerns of why I overate in the first place. I have some demons I fight. I never feel like I am enough. I have traced that back to my childhood and things that happened to me then. I can pinpoint the moment in a conversation with my mom that I started believing the lie that I wasn't worth anything. And that I was unlovable. I fight to stop believing that lie and all the rest of the lies that followed it everyday.

The head work is by far the hardest part. But the headwork is what has to be done to keep me from gaining it back! The moment I stop fighting and give up on the head work is the moment I will start stuffing my face again!

I am a hot mess emotionally alot of the time. But I know that just like losing the weigh that I can and will be successful in getting through the mind fucks.

You sitting here reading this can be successful at this WLS journey. But it isn't only about calroies in vs calories out . It is about head work and changing your mind to change your life. And it is about having the right support to keep cheering you on even when you feel like you cant move one more step forward! Thank you everyone that has supported me and contributed to my success! heart emoticon

Transformation Tuesday

Transformation Tuesday....

On a lot of WLS support boards they have a theme day on Tuesdays.  You are supposed to post before and after pictures of yourself showing your progress.  I have participated in these theme days for years.  More often now that I am at my goal weight and post tummy tuck.  But today I just wasn't feeling it.  I thought it might have been because I don't want to look at pictures of "fat Jen"  or maybe it was because I am tired of "healthy Jen" too.  And I am sure that is part of it.  But the biggest reason is that pictures don't do justice to to show my transformation.  Sure my ass has shrunk.  I can wear Jr. Size clothes.  Hell even my ring and shoe size is smaller.  My stomach is flat (thanks to a Tummy Tuck) and I can confidently wear a bikini.  But so what?!?!?  That is just skin, fat, muscle and fashion. That shit is easy

The bigger deal and the most difficult part of my transformation is in my head and heart and soul.  Figuring out why I overate in the first place.  And then realizing I could no longer stuff my feelings with food.  Food was gonna kill me.  I had to learn how to feel those feelings.  To let them fill me up.. consume me.  And not to run away from them.  But to let them in and finally realize that they cant hurt me.  Anything that gave me a huge reaction or rocked me to my core was old.  Old Hurt.  Old bullshit.  Old pain.  Old lies that I told myself or was told to me by someone else that I believed.  Lies I believed.

Let that sink in..... LIES I believed,  Things like I was not worthy.  Or was going to fail.  Or wasn't pretty.  Wasn't attractive.  Wasn't smart.  Wasn't sexy. Wasn't strong.  Wasn't enough.  Wasn't worthy of love.  Wasn't worthy of respect.  Wasn't worthy of acceptance. Wasn't lovable. Would never be happy.  Would always settle for less because the best wasn't for me.  I wasn't enough because I was too loud.  Too bossy. Too sassy.  Too fat.  Too pushy.  Too obnoxious.  Too outspoken.  Too bold.  Too much.

This past year I have been working really hard on changing my truth. I have looked at each one of those LIES and tried my damnest to STOP BELIEVING it!  I have stumbled and fallen and probably fucked up a lot along the way. But I am beginning to slay those demons.  I wake up every day and try to believe I am worthy.  I will succeed.  I am pretty, attractive, sexy, desirable.  I am smart.  I am so strong.  I am enough.  I am worthy of love respect and acceptance for the perfectly flawed Jen that I am.  I am lovable and give my love so freely.  I will be happy and I deserve the best.  And all those things I though I was too much of... well I am the perfect amount of all of them!  They make me exactly who I am supposed to be.

But even bigger that all of that is that I figured out that hole in my soul that aches that I have been filling up for years with food, drugs, alcohol, sex and lies.... it is still there.  And the ONLY thing.  The ONLY person who can fix it... fill it... heal it..... is me.  I have to fill it up with self love.  Self acceptance and self forgiveness.

And I know it is painful for those closest to me to witness.  And I know I have turned inward, not leaving much room for anyone else. But trust me when I say....I'm still transforming,  I will get there.  And I will be better than ever before,  Just give me some space to spread my wings and fly!

Anemia saga continues

As most of you faithful readers know... I have been battling anemia since last summer.  You can read  here to get more information about my blood transfusions and anemia from last year.  I have been faithful to take my iron and other vitamin and mineral supplements from that point forward to today. However, my energy levels are still not up to par. 

Last month I saw my WLS Nurse Practitioner Megan Vulcan for some reflux and heart burn I have been having.  While I was there she asked me how I was feeling otherwise and I mentioned my fatigue.  She asked me about my menstrual cycles.  So I told her that in the past 6-8 months my bleeding periods were getting longer and heavier.  She thought that the bleeding I was experiencing might be connected to my anemia.  She suggested I see a Gynecologist to see what they suggested.  Megan also mentioned having a uterine ablation done to stop the bleeding.  We also talked about some other less invasive treatment options and how they would work or not work for me.  

As most women know there are few options we have to control bleeding.  We can take Birth Control Pills, get birth control injected into us, get IUDs, have ablations or have partial or complete hysterectomies.  Some of these options are not great for me because I don't have a normal stomach.  Birth Control pills for instance are dissolved and absorbed in the stomach in a normal person.  But with my tiny stomach and small amounts of stomach acid and the basic malabsorption effects that come with gastric bypass surgery... well birth control pills won't work.  Inject able birth control drugs are known to cause weight gain.  And clearly  that is not an option since I had WLS and a recent tummy tuck.  IUDs might work.  Some women are very successful in having little to no periods while on an IUD.  However other women may bleed for weeks on end while their bodies adjust to the artificial hormone levels before the bleeding subsides.  So clearly that is not a good risk to take considering my anemia.  A partial or full hysterectomy is very invasive and effects my hormone levels putting me at risk to need artificial hormones which come with their own side effects.

So I went to see the gynecologist to discuss my options.  She did a full exam and pap smear.  Everything appeared to be normal.  She indicated that my bleeding might be related to my age.  Basically as women age their hormones get wacky and that can result in an excess of estrogen (makes a rich thick lining in your uterus) and lower progesterone (which makes you bleed more). Also a side note.... women that carry extra fat like I did for 30+ years are typically estrogen dominate as fat cells hold extra estrogen.  But that clearly due to my anemia issues and the blood transfusions that followed, we needed to figure out a way to control my bleeding periods,  She spoke to me about a uterine ablation as an option.  But we needed to make sure I was a good candidate for the procedure.  For instance if my uterus is full of fibroids or some other issue then that could be causing the bleeding then an ablation would not work.  She ordered an ultrasound of my uterus and then referred me to a specialist to talk about the ablation.

The ultrasound came back fine.  I have an extra thick lining as they suspected but no fibroids, tumors or other anomalies in my uterus or on my ovaries.  Off to see the specialist I went!

Dr. Schade is the specialist I saw.  He looked at all my test results and records.  He agreed that getting my bleeding under control would aid in my fight against anemia.  He said the average women with a normal stomach can sometimes fight anemia with a normal period every month.  He stated that with my tiny stomach that does not absorb iron very easily, with my already low iron levels and bleeding like I have been, it is only a matter of time before I will need another blood transfusion.  There is just no way for me to keep up with my body's iron demands when I bleed out like that monthly.  Even with the high levels of iron I take daily.  Controlling or ending the bleeding is the best option.

He talked to me about the uterine ablation.  I won't dumb it down for you.... if you are interested in learning about the procedure then click this link:  http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/endometrial-ablation/basics/definition/prc-20014190

Risks of ablation:

• A puncture injury (perforation) of the uterine wall from surgical instruments
• Heat damage to nearby organs
• Pain, bleeding or infection

After the Ablation, the good news:  

• No incisions to heal from.  Very short recovery period
• No more periods.  Or very very light ones. 
• Does not effect my hormone levels.  
• I keep all my parts, uterus cervix and ovaries.
• I will go into menopause (in like 15-18 years) at my normal time.
• I should be able to get my iron levels back up to normal with supplements
• Reduces my risk drastically of needing a blood transfusion

So it seems like a no brainer....  I go to the office, they sedate me, they heat up/Ablate my endometrial lining, they burn it down by 7mm to get all the endometrial cells, they suck it all out, they wake me up, give me some pain meds, I go home, have some discharge for a few days, and then I am back to normal!  Only no periods. Ever. Again!  Yes please!!!!

So my procedure is this Friday!  Wish me luck!!!!

Transformation Tuesday

I have no fucking words.  All I can do is shake my head and cry.

Un Fucking believable!

String Bikini!

So I never ever thought in a million years I would ever be able to wear a string bikini.  And even after my Tummy tuck I never thought I would be able to because of the scar.  That is until today!  I was in Wal-Mart and I walked by a rack of polka dot bikinis.  I love Polka dots.  And I especially love pink and black.  So I grabbed a size I thought might fit and grabbed the matching bottoms and went to try them on.

Top fit pretty good.  I think I need to take it in slightly...but the cups fit and that is always the biggest challenge.  So SCORE!  When I put the bottoms on I realized they were strings only on the sides.  What?!?!  No way was that gonna work.  My scar stretches from hip to hip!  But I put them on anyway.  And was completely SHOCKED to discover that the strings followed my scar line perfectly!  Dr. Buchanan is amazing!  He continues to exceed my expectation!  I have no idea I would ever even want to wear a bikini when I walked into his office.  But he must had!  LOL!  It was like he had the bikini in the operating room when he made his incisions!  Perfect!  I am still amazed!  And I love the suit!  Thanks again Dr. Buchanan!  You are truly an artist!

Cant see the scar!  Yay!

NSV = Non Scale Victory

I have been attending the WLS support group offered through Rockwood Clinic weight loss surgery group. They offer once monthly support groups for their patients both pre and post ops. They have guest speakers and offer lots of cool information and help keep us on track.  This months was especially exciting because my Favorite Plastic Surgeon Dr. Dallas Buchanan was the guest speaker.  He asked me a few months back if I would like to attend with him and maybe help answer any questions people had about the process.  I gladly said yes!

Tonight was the night!  Dr. Buchanan spoke for over an hour and answered tons of questions from everyone.  He was his awesome charismatic and compassionate self and put everyone at ease!  I truly hope that he gets lots of inquiries from this event!

But that wasn't the cool part for me at this event!  Here is my NSV story.  So during the course of the questions it was brought up that some people that have weight loss surgery never get to goal weight.  They butcher their stomachs, change their anatomy, and someone how still resort back to bad habits and never hit goal weight.  This resonated with me because when I was a pre-op I was fearful that I would never lose the weight.  That I would fail.  And as I was sitting there I came to full realization..... I didn't fail.  I SUCCEEDED!  I lost 165 pounds.  And I have kept that weight off for 18+ months!  I did it!  I worked really hard and changed my life.  I never gave up.  I keep pushing until I succeeded!

After the meeting ended a few people stopped to ask me some questions since I have been through the process of a tummy tuck.  One very nice lady told me that she was shocked to learn that I was ever an WLS patient.  She told me I looked great and that she would have never known that I had any surgeries.  I was completely shocked and blown away.  I felt so validated!  I have SUCCEEDED! People can't tell that I ever weighed 340 pounds!  I am just a normal 39 year old beautiful woman!

It also was so awesome to be asked by Dr. Buchanan to showcase his work!  LOL!  He did such a BEAUTIFUL job on my tummy tuck that I am thankful every single day for his talents!  I am not shy at all about showing my scars, my nice flat stomach or the fact that I can wear a string bikini and the scars don't even show!  Dr. Buchanan is AMAZING!  And my flat stomach makes my breasts look great too! A few people have asked me if I got my breasts lifted when I did my tummy tuck.  No I did not!  Dr. Buchanan just made everything else on my torso look so amazing that my breasts are showcased perfectly!  Thank you So Much Dr. Buchanan!!!!  And Dr. Buchanan... if you are reading this... I would be happy to help you in any way in the future!

Thanks for being amazing Dr. Buchanan!